“Mom, why are you coming to all of my basketball games now?”

It’s true, from his first basketball season as a first grader, I was happy to know that my husband would be the one to take our son to his weekly games while I took care of our younger daughter. Life is about choices: Do I want to sit in a freezing cold gym and force my three year old daughter to join me for an hour, entertaining her and missing most of the game, or do I want to spend some quality one-on-one time with her at home? After delivering him to practices during the week, I figured the weekend was a chance to stay home and let my husband be there for the game. I attended some games, but definitely not all of them. Apparently he noticed…..

Once my son got to High School my interest increased, and not only to attend every game but to help out the coaches in any way they needed. This part really bothered him. “Mom, why are you at the High School so often?” How did he know? I had a picture of his class schedule on my phone so I would be sure not to be anywhere near him, and I diligently arrived and left during class time to slip in and out of the Athletic Office between passing periods. But apparently I should have worn a disguise because it would take only one kid who knew my identity to text him in a matter of seconds that “Your mom is here”.

As a sophomore he made the Varsity team. This meant his games would be in the evening, which also meant students would be attending. Again he asked me if I planned on going to a lot of the games. As all parents know, answers to children’s questions need to be made immediately. Instead of defensively answering in the affirmative, I came up with a calculated reason why I would be going to every game I possibly could. I asked him if he knew how many kids went to his school, supplying him with the answer of approximately 2,400. I then broke it down for him. If half of those students were boys, and with 12 players on the Varsity team, what percentage of the 1,200 male students played Varsity basketball? Besides being a pretty easy math problem, I explained how proud I was of him being on the team since only 1% of the boys at his school were on it! (Not that they all tried out for the team, but thankfully he didn’t go there.) My reasoning contained a bit of emotion, so he eased off a bit in terms of his irritation at my plans to attend games.

I cannot wait to see what my next conversation will be about with my teenaged son. I will ask a question and he will reply with either one word or a sound. Will it be about whether or not he has signed up for the SAT? The ACT? If he has visited the Career Center? If his uniform made it to the laundry basket? If he dealt with his fix-it ticket? If he wrote his thank-you notes? If he plugged in our electric car after he used it?

My teenager loves me.

What a thrilling ride Dons Derby Days were! But so glad they are over. I gathered eight to 10 volunteers for each of the eight, two hour shifts, and off we went. The three days of DDD are the days when SBHS students do three things: Flash their “Golden ticket” to show they have proven their place of residency and turned in their emergency card, get their pictures taken for the yearbook and/or ASB card, and pick up their schedules. It should run smoothly and take about ten minutes unless…..

Unless the address verification and emergency card information was not taken care of during the last week of the previous school year or during the 12 weeks of summer. (This process involves going to Dora, the school Registrar. As she pleasantly receives your papers and checks off your form, you admire her collection of lighthouses. It takes about two minutes, and can be done by students or parents). So if someone in your family failed to do this, come DDD you are standing in a line of up to two hours, paperwork in hand, watching the people who followed instructions after reading at least one of the two emails the school sent and/or the mailer, glide past you. This week usually falls upon one of the hottest weeks of August, so as your impatience increases and you ask yourself why you didn’t take care of this sooner, so does the temperature in the main hall.

I avoid standing in any type of line if possible. So when I see these students and parents with frowns on their faces, it is nice to be able to attempt to cheer them up. Thanks to Gelson’s Market and to a volunteer parent, a few boxes of day-old pastries were donated and during a couple of shifts PTSA parents wee seen greeting those in line with an offer of a chocolate or almond croissant. It especially helped those with small children in tow, although I didn’t stick around to see the post-sugar behavior that might have occurred.

Throughout the 20 hours of DDD, my trusty PTSA Board Members took turns at the PTSA table. I am so lucky to have this group of moms and dads that are intelligent, trustworthy, and accountable. We each have different strengths and passions which must be why I feel so confident that this group can be so effective for all Parents, Teachers , and Students at “The High School”.*

My dad recently retired from being a Superior Court Judge for ten years, and being low on volunteers for a morning shift, I asked him to help. He was thrilled. He had the job of welcoming students into the “Little Gym” for their pictures. He enjoyed it thoroughly, but had to admit that he was surprised that some of the students who came through weren’t exactly respectful, which I assume to mean they didn’t look him in the eye, smile, and say thank you. I immediately wondered how consistent my children are with those common manners that I have tried so hard to instill for the last 15 years!

Which brings me to the realization that I had once summer began. My son is 16, my daughter 13. They no longer need me (or any adult) around them all day. I am there just for rides, money, and food in the fridge. I wasn’t exactly prepared for this, but how much can a parent really prepare for? I am a teacher, so I had a lot of time on my hands with the summer free. It was nice. Really nice. I picked up a job helping a mother at “my” school pick up her daughters a few times a week after their camps, and my dog was in heaven with the two to three walks he got each day. I had lunches with girlfriends I don’t see much of during the school year, and of course, I prepared for my new position, President of the SBHS PTSA!

Next up: Teacher/Staff Luncheon that our Co-Hospitality Chairs will do. I have to return to my job on that day, so I will miss the event. After that comes the Freshman Parent Coffee that the Foundation for SBHS is advertising. The Foundation invited me to say a few words. I look forward to reaching out to a slew of fresh parents and will report on that next time….

Meredith Brace ’82 SBHS

*”The High School” was how SBHS was referred to for many years, as it was the only High School in Santa Barbara for almost a century. People simple used it in a sentence like, “I’ll meet you at The High School”, or “Have you seen the new tennis courts at The High School”, or “I just saw the play at The High School, and it was fabulous!”.

So here I am, about to start (my son’s) Junior year in High School. I became the Santa Barbara High School PTSA President on July 1 of this year. So far so good. When I run into friends around town and the subject comes up, they all think I’m crazy. It’s funny how you can have so many friends with so many commonalities but none of them understands why I would choose to do this. To me, it’s a no brainer. Maybe I’ll have a different opinion after this school year. I’ll let you know.

I have decided to keep a report on my experience as the Prez. I’m going to start with a brief history of my involvement with my kids’ schools. Pre-school was Starr King, a Parent-Child cooperative which required a weekly two hour evening meeting and a weekly three hour morning commitment. This gave me the opportunity to watch my kids in an experiential setting, help other people’s kids, and learn from the Director, Yolanda, a lot about the early years in a child’s life.

When my kids entered elementary school I was welcomed into the classrooms to be a part of a number of activities with the students, even as we bounced from Harding to Hope to Laguna Blanca to Washington. My husband and I went to a lot of PTA meetings and helped or contributed wherever or whenever we could.

During (my son’s) Freshman year at SBHS, I helped mostly with his sports teams. I offered to be the team parent for football and basketball (volleyball had plenty of volunteers). I was signed up on Parent Square, so besides sports I ended up helping out other departments. For example, I would bring a bag of ice to a theatre performance, or a box of granola bars for testing snacks, a plate of cookies to a choir performance, facilitate a Saturday SAT session, check in library textbooks, or give a couple of hours at the Saturday Swap meet. My kids were 12 and 15, so their need for me had become considerably minimal.

When I showed up to help at Derby Day the week before my son’s Sophomore year, I ran into a former Starr King parent who encouraged me to join the PTSA Board. PTSA hadn’t been on my radar the year before, and being a “yes” person, I asked what I could do. She needed a Hospitality Chair. I would need to send out Parent Square emails for events like the Teacher’s luncheons (three a year) and snacks for testing dates. OK. Why not?

So here I am, almost a year later. I’ve learned so much about the school and have met so many parents who are dedicated to helping as well. There is a strong, positive momentum at SBHS. You just feel it. The first time I felt it was at Back to School night my during my son’s Freshman year. The auditorium was packed with standing room only as Principal John Becchio addressed the crowd and introduced the ASB President, a few other administrators, and the PTSA President. So when people say “We are all in this together”, or “It takes a village to raise a child”, that holds true at SBHS. Being involved in PTSA means helping everyone on campus. The Parents, the Teachers, and the Students. If everyone on campus is being supported, then we will have a healthy school for everyone. And that is important to me.

Parents help in so many different ways. Many parents have so much going on or have work schedules that don’t allow them much free time. That is perfectly understandable. Just providing a place for your children to study, or healthy food and a safe place to return to is just as important. I do hope that we can encourage a higher number of parents to join the PTSA this year. We only had about 300 parents join last year. Joining the PTSA doesn’t mean you are locked in to volunteer. It just shows that you support the PTSA’s efforts. So please consider spending $10 and becoming a member in our Legacy year (100 continuous years as a PTA). We need a membership number we can be proud of!

Meredith Brace ’82